So if you follow me on instagram you know that my instagram: @ambwdate is a great central dating resource to meet other local singles in the AMBW / BWAM community. In fact, 3 members have already informed me that they met their boyfriend/girlfriend through my page! So, if you're single and looking to date Asian guys simply dm me on ig and I'll feature you. :) Or scroll through the features and find someone near you, it's Free!
So I digressed a little bit but within the first month of starting this new insta I received a few dms from followers regarding "Where the hell are all the Asian men in the ambw groups who claim they just love us? No where. It's a trend for some of them. They jack off to us then go back to white and non-black girls."
I just want to start off by saying that this quote is True. And yet, not true. Press Play to find out why I agree and why I don't.
Seriously, it is that simple. Men are simple creatures. They don't like shopping. They go in with an intention of getting one item and within 5 minutes they leave the store with that one item. The same is true for men when it comes to dating. They are in one of two phases in their life. Your job is to spot what phase they're in and react accordingly. You can not change a man. He has to want to change himself. So do not think to yourself, oh my pussy is so good I'll be able to change him because you're lying to yourself. A guy is only in what I like to call the Dog stage or the Prince stage. You want a Prince.
The Dog [noun]
Emotionally immature. Only seeks sexual gratification. Will fuck anything with a heartbeat.
The Prince [noun]
A real man. Wants an emotional and long lasting connection. Making you happy is more important than sex.
So how do you get a Prince who will put a ring on it and marry you rather than a Dog who will jack off to you and go to a non-black girl? Read on...
Stop Putting Them On a Pedestal
I know this can be a tough pill to swallow but let me put it this way. Asian men are still men. Just because they're Asian doesn't make them any better than any other race. They are still men and because of their high testosterone levels they are genetically programmed to be dogs. Especially the ones who have absolutely no self-control or who are just on the prowl. I don't care if a man is green, yellow, black, white or purple--if he's in that "I want to fuck every girl in the world" mentality then he is just a dog. So please stop putting them on a higher-than-thou pedestal over other men.
Don't Act Thirsty
I know single life can be hard. I remember those days when I was waiting for my "Captain Save a ho". But you can't come off as thirsty. Men will smell your desperation from a mile away and either run or come looking for easy prey. Learn to love yourself. Find a hobby or two that you love. But don't overly advertise that you're looking for a man. These tips are especially true for online dating.
Keep the Cookie Jar Closed
Don't give away your goodies on the first night. Listen to Steve Harvey and make him wait--three months if you can. Women, we seriously underestimate the power of our vaginas. A male friend of mine once told me. "You control the relationship because you control the pussy." And he was absolutely right. Sex is what all men crave. And if it is witheld they will do anything and everything in their power to have it restored. Think about it, when a male is courting you before sex he pulls out all the stops. Flowers, gifts, candy... maybe even a house or car if you get a rich dude but they seriously will relentlessly pursue you until you give up the goodies. Your job is to not give up the goodies and let him get to love the real you. The reason why guys act like dogs is because women are giving it up to easily. Especially side chicks, if you know you're the side chick stop giving up the pussy right now. He is only going to you because he can't get sex from his main chick. You are his 2nd choice, his backup, his leftovers. Stop being the leftovers. Be his number one or nothing at all. Like Nene Leakes said "Close your legs to married men." Men will only do as much as they can get away with. Make them work for it. Plus if you make them wait for it they will respect you more and appreciate sex with you more and it will be more likely an extension of his adoration for you rather than strictly lust.
If it Looks Like a Ho
The image that you portray to the world attracts certain kind of attention. If you keep attracting dogs into your life instead of quality men the problem might not be men but it might be you. What message are you portraying to the world? Do you dress provocatively? Do your posts reflect confidence and self-love? Do you have videos of yourself twerking? Men are very visual creatures. If they see ratchet ass shots they're going to see you as a ho and treat you as such. Plain and simple.
If you don't love yourself then how do you know if a man is treating you right. If you don't love yourself you'll allow yourself to be treated any ol' way. You can not attract a man that is put together if you yourself are broken. Take time to be comfortable in your own skin. Fall in love with being alone and find out what you like. When you're truly ready you'll find someone who loves you more than you love them.
I've noticed recently that because of the increasing popularity of Korean culture there are these people called Kpoppers. What I find interesting is that many Kpoppers have become drawn to this ideal. Koreans do not look like that. If they do, they're either wearing makeup or getting plastic surgery. Koreans do not have double eyelids or red hair. To think you will find a man who looks like a kpopper is highly unrealistic and is almost like when men objectify women and expect us all to look like Gabrielle Union or Rihanna. It's just not realistic. So please don't expect to find a guy who looks like this. Asian men will think you're fetishizing them and won't take you seriously and then also black people will think you're a self-hater and--- just don't. Show appreciation for their culture but don't overdo it. And don't try to change yourself to be someone else's ideal. Just be yourself. If you have to change to be with someone you'll eventually resent them so just do you.
Guys to Stay Away From
+ The guy who's never dated a black girl before.
Unless of course he's a teenager, if he hasn't dated a black girl yet you're probably his science project. This, 99% of the time is a prime example of the type of guy, as the quote references above, that dating a black girl is a trend to. Avoid him. Let him practice on someone else.
As a military brat I am not knocking military men. The lifestyle is certainly not for the meek. You move often, at the whim of the government because you are essentially government property. When they're deployed they are gone for months at a time. Which can be especially hard if you're taking care of the household by yourself. Also because they are gone for so long they are more likely to cheat. Girls love military men especially navy men because they're stuck on a boat for months and when they finally get off the boat they have piles of cash that they have no clue what to do with. So many of them become straight up manwhores. Then because of the training many of the men have to endure they're are just not right mentally. I honestly have dated a Vietnamese guy that was in the armed services and I can honestly say after that relationship I knew I could not be with someone in the military.
Most asian cultures are very selfless and family oriented. As such if a man's family says "Jump" he's going to say "How high" because this mentality has been ingrained in him from birth. It is very hard to find a first generation or Native that will go against his parents. If his parents are against him dating a non-asian girl 99% of the time you are wasting your time. I say 99% of the time because I actually lucked out. My boyfriend was born in Korea and immigrated to America when he was 7. Although his parents are very against him marrying a non asian woman, he didn't listen. Not to say our relationship is all sunshine and rainbows because to this day his family still does not want to meet me. So if you do meet a first generation Asian and he truly loves you just be warned that you might have a difficult road ahead of you.
This is probably going to sound really bad but in one of my college textbooks it said "Asians have an affinity to Luxury goods". I kid you not and what's crazy is I think I agree. If a guy really likes you, he's going to buy you nice things. Take you out to a dinner, take you out to classes, buy you jewelry... whatever it is. He's going to spend money on you. If he doesn't that means that he's either just not that into you or he's broke. If he's broke, give him some space until he gets his shit together. Money problems are the leading cause of divorce. So if you really like him, be his friend, give him words of encouragement to help him be better but just let him get his shit together. But if he's being cheap for the former reason-- do not waste your time. He will just fuck you and leave you.
Guys to Look For
Look for the guys that immulate Black culture. If they have black friends it's because they're trying to meet black girls through those friends. If they're taking "Black History 101" at your college it's because they want to understand our history and actively want to meet black girls. Look for guys like this because they respect Black women enough that they want to learn and understand our culture.
So in closing, there are two types of men. Dogs and Princes. Recognize the signs so you attract a prince and not a dog. And take a look at yourself to make sure you're not putting out energy that attracts dogs to you.
So in closing, what kind of men are you attracting? Dogs or Princes?